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The Bullshitter’s Guide to Running a Political Party

After Natalie Bennett kindly showed us exactly how not to speak as the leader of a political party, we thought it might be useful to create a handy guide for those of you who want to successfully run your own party. Greens take note!

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hands-holding-earth2 Environment / World

Alien life to pay “decent sum” for Earth’s resources

Politicians and economists rejoice today as alien life visited Earth to offer what is being called a “decent sum” for all of our natural resources.

The pen is mighty Culture / Europe / Op-Ed / Politics / Religion

Op-Ed: Charlie Hebdo – the untold irony

Following the incidents in Paris this month, I feel compelled to write an editorial in an uncharacteristically serious tone. This is partly due to running an independent satirical news website, and partly due to questions from friends and colleagues as to my opinion on the Charlie Hebdo attacks and their ramifications. It is impossible for…

A recent self-portrait by Satan Religion / World

Farage, Brand, Hopkins, and Kim Kardashian’s bum: An exclusive interview with Satan

After a two-week break, The Rough Times is back with this exclusive interview with Satan. We talk about hating all mankind, Nigel Farage, Katie Hopkins, Russell Brand, and Kim Kardashian’s bum

katie-hopkins-tweet Culture / UK News

Kate Hopkins to be jailed for 48 years under new legislation

Kate Hopkins, the failed Apprentice contestant and professional spewer of bile, may be imprisoned for up to 48 years under new legislation to impose harsher sentences on trolls.

Nick Clegg

Nick Clegg begs voters to “forget the last five years and everything we’ve done”

Lib Dem leader and Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, delivered a defiant speech to close the party conference in Glasgow today, urging voters to “forget all the broken promises and dreams”

8 October 2014 in Politics.
Morgan Apocalypse

Morgan Freeman to narrate the apocalypse, it has been announced

Smooth-talking veteran actor, Morgan Freeman, has reportedly been contracted to narrate the end of the world in a civilization-defining role.

7 October 2014 in Environment.
Ruth Davidson Human Rights

The Sun campaign for hypocrisy to be enshrined in Human Rights Bill

The Conservatives have joined British tabloid newspaper, The Sun, in campaigning to get hypocrisy enshrined in UK Human Rights Bill.

6 October 2014 in Europe, Politics, UK News.
big_business

“Everything anti-business,” warn economists

Following George Osborne’s comments that charities are “anti-business,” top economists have warned that “almost everything is anti-business” because it “gets in the way of free-market neoliberal capitalism.”

4 October 2014 in Economics, UK News.
Drinking MPs

MPs to be issued with prepaid expenses cards to stop them spending on alcohol and drugs

In the future MPs will be “safeguarded” against alcoholism, drug abuse, watching excessive amounts of porn, and dealing with second homes with the implementation of prepaid expenses cards.

30 September 2014 in Culture, Politics, UK News.
hong kong protests

Hong Kong residents fight for right to choose corrupt bastards to govern them

Thousands of protesters in Hong Kong have taken to the street to demand the right to choose the corrupt leaders that will inevitably sell them out for a few quid.

29 September 2014 in Politics, World.
Cameron-selfie

“Violence to solve everything”, claim MPs

After years criticising Tony Blair and the Labour Party for dragging the UK into an illegal war with Iraq, Tory MPs have voted overwhelmingly to begin airstrikes on the same soil, concluding that “perhaps violence does solves everything”.

27 September 2014 in UK News, World.

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