Panic for lesbians as Daily Mail readers donate sperm
Panic has spread throughout the lesbian community as couples trying artificial insemination told sperm “likely to come from Daily Mail readers”
13 year-old boy tricks judges into thinking he is a computer
“He began only communicating with us via text message or by making monosyllabic noises,” explains the mother of the teenage boy, “we contemplated changing his name to ‘Google’”
Could eating meat be as harmful as smoking?
No, unless you are a cow.
ESCAPISM linked to desire to escape, new study finds
The Advanced Study of Things released a new paper this week linking habits of escapism to the desire to escape from one’s social surroundings. The meta analysis of over 100 different studies concluded that individuals with habits like overeating, drug use and excessive internet, TV or video game use are actually dissatisfied with the society…
NICK CLEGG to have artificial backbone surgically implanted
As David Cameron and Ed Miliband begin their warm-up exercises for the 2015 election, Deputy PM, Nick Clegg, is preparing to undergo surgery to have an artificial spine implanted. “Obviously I am nervous”, said Clegg, “but losing my spine after the last election may really hamper the Lib Dems chances of getting elected in 2015″…
“We f**cked up, let’s move to Mars,” say scientists
This is the news that global warming is happening and it’s all our fault….or scientists are 95% sure anyway. Fortunately, the Mars Rover has found enough water for all the world leaders, scientists and Chris De Burgh. Asked for their reaction to the news, one environmental campaigner said “well maybe they should all bugger off to…
Scientology leader to referee Battle Royale between Dawkins and Pope Benedict
A BATTLE ROYALE is set to happen between Emeritus Pope Benedict and acclaimed biologist, Richard Dawkins, and will be refereed by Scientology leader, David Miscavige. Pope Benedict hit out at Dawkins this week calling his work “classic science fiction”. Dawkins has been an outspoken critic of organised religion, and particularly the Catholic Church, calling it…
