Yes and No voters, Scots, English, Welsh and Northern Irish alike, all breathed a sigh of relief today as Piers Morgan agreed to fuck off and live in the USA.
Devonshire monks at Buckfast Abbey are celebrating a historic win as polls open for the Scottish independence referendum.
In a shock twist to the Scottish independence campaign, First Minister Alex Salmond successfully invaded Downing Street today, declaring England for the Scots.
On the brink of another misselling scandal, British banks hope to be buoyed by laundering profits from newly illegal khat trade.
Police in Cheshire have admitted to being “baffled” at the recent series of criminals failing to come back to prison when they were told to.
Severe storms across the UK have caused major disruptions to pre-Christmas conversations across the country this week. Winds reaching up to 80mph have interrupted scheduled conversations such as “Where did I leave the present for…?” and “How are we getting over to grandma’s?” “I don’t know what I am doing or where I am…
News agencies have come together today to speak out against so-called “fun-a-strations” “We have covered protests and demonstrations around the world for nearly 100 years now,” said a BBC spokesperson, “and we know from experience that they are miserable affairs at which people glumly chant slogans. Real protests are not in any way enjoyable.” However, an…