Prime Minister, David Cameron, has publicly thanked his gardener, Jesus, who apparently provided the idea for his “Big Society” as well as proclaiming he is doing “God’s work,” in an Easter address today.
Mr Cameron also used his Easter speech to hit back at Muslims, Jews and Hindus across the country by claiming he is “not doing the work of Allah, Yahweh or Brahman, but of God – the one, true Christian God.”
He also revealed the results of his annual religious persecution study, which, according to Mr Cameron, shows that Christians have overtaken Muslims to become the most persecuted religious group on the planet.
“As a proud Christian, I am shocked when I walk down the road and people shout things like “arsehole” or “oi, knobgoblin,” explained Mr Cameron, “I hadn’t realised the anti-Christian sentiment was so high in this country. That’s why we need the Big Society.”
When quizzed on the “Big Society” idea – the idea that, as a society, we need to turn into Tom Hanks – the Prime Minister credit the idea to his Mexican gardener, Jesus Moralez.
“Of could Jesus is a wonderful Christian, as well as an above-average gardener, and it is through him that I continue God’s work,” he explained.
However, critics have asked why Mr Cameron has yet to complete his imitation of Christ by crucifying himself for all of our sins. “That would really show the ‘Big Society’ in action,” one critic told The Rough Times.